Beautiful Alone: A Songfic
by Masked Angel
Summary: Has slash, has no HP characters, but is based around Hogwarts. A story of one of my original characters. Please R&R!


Note 1: This fic may not be exactly R, but it is a bit suggestive towards some adult themes. So please don't continue if you do not have an open mind.  
Disclaimer: I don't own "Beautiful Alone"  
Note 2: This is the English translation to the Japanese song "Beautiful Alone". It may not be entirely accurate, and it's certainly NOT how the song is sung!  
  
_Only bitter words exist.  
That's what this city always reflects,  
But people just pass by.  
We'd collapse if we'd just believe,  
Clutching only this anxiety._  
  
Lale laid on a grassy hillside with his father next to him. They were looking up at the stars. Those tiny pinpricks of light, out in the infinities that brought mystery to Lale's four year old mind.  
"Daddy," said Lale, "What are stars?"  
"They are our dreams. Every time you have a dream, little one, a new star is made, but sometimes you won't ever see your star, because it is so very far away."  
Lale put his head back on the grass, "Daddy, can you reach up and get me a star? Some of them don't look so far away."  
"No little one, I can't reach, the stars, but I can show you the stars." The boy's father rolled over so he was facing his son.  
  
_But if you'll just be here,  
I will not let you go.  
Chased by this ticking clock,  
But today I'll forget everything.  
For I'll go on living._  
  
It was one year later, and Lale was the picture of cuteness. He was dressed in a read tee-shirt and denim shorts-overalls with a large red apple on the chest. On his back was a bright, shiny blue backpack. In his hand he held a plastic lunchbox with a picture of a kitten on the front. His blonde hair was carefully brushed, his turquoise eyes shining, and his mouth in a wide grin revealing two missing front teeth.  
  
"Goodbye Mommy, Daddy, I'm going to school!" he said with as much excitement as a kid on his way to Disneyland.  
"Do you think you would let Mommy and Daddy take you to school?" asked his father a large grin on his face.  
"Alright," said Lale, a look of thought on his face, "yes, I think I would like that!"  
  
_You and my loneliness,  
weighs down on me like a kiss,  
And we start to notice that pain.  
That beautiful parting taking over,  
I think only this passionate night  
understands certainly the shadow of love._  
  
It was the summer after Lale's first year at Hogwarts when he returned home to see his mother and father's happy faces grinning at him in the train station. Though both muggles, neither of Lale's parents had problems with his being a wizard, and he was very grateful for that.   
  
His first night back was a great experience. His parents, intent on making sure he came home next summer, had prepared a huge feast which had even been prepared respecting his vegetarianism. So Lale and his family feasted on eggplant, mushrooms, rice, tofu, and all the rest of Lale's favorites. After that, Lale's father took him out to show him the new telescope that allowed them to see Mars with good detail.  
  
At about ten, Lale was exhausted and decided to go to bed. He settled down underneath his warm turquoise sheets and rested his head against his pillow. The door creaked open and the silhouette of his father entered Lale's room. Lale shut his eyes tight, hoping his father would ignore him, think him asleep or something, but it didn't work, it never did.  
  
_With the moon guiding us,  
We float away.  
And if this eternity ends,  
That emptiness might quietly envelop us.  
So that swallow,  
Disappearing into the sky.  
I just wish I had its wings  
Trembling in this gentle silent rain._  
  
It was the summer after Lale's fourth year and Lale was home again. It was mid-July, and incredibly hot, so hot that everyday most men would simply go topless. It was then that Lale discovered two things about himself that would affect him for the rest of his life. He had always had many female admirers, none of whom he loved, and though he might have seemed the kind of boy that would use girls, he didn't. If anything, Lale was honorable.   
Then on a particularly hot day, Lale himself had stripped off his shirt and was lying in the hammock in his front yard with a glass of lemonade.  
A beauty walked past him, a marvel of muscle and slimness. Only thing was, this beauty was male, but at that moment Lale wouldn't have cared if he was a different species, this tall brunette had captured his heart. Then the beauty walked over and sat on the hammock, "Hello, I'm Jacob Matthews, and you are?"  
Those blue eyes, that tan skin, "L-Lale Montgomery."  
"Nice to meet you Lale, I think I'll see more of you this summer."  
  
And Jacob kept his promise everyday he would come by Lale's house, usually they would just talk, but one day while Lale was commenting on a book he had read, Jacob kissed him. Just right there, no questions asked, and that was Lale's first kiss to someone other than family. The rest of the summer passed and Jacob continued to come and somedays they would just talk, and somedays they would not talk at all. Lale took pains to make sure his family did not find out particularly his father.  
_I start looking for that something-  
In return that  
I'd abandon love.  
You and my sorrow,  
Bears down on me like an embrace,  
And we start to see that memory.  
A beautiful loneliness,  
Painted, I think._  
  
The next winter was Lale's last time home. Something had been struck in him, he felt used. Like nothing more than an object for other people to use, like a cheap slut. He didn't like that feeling, he didn't like life. He would put on a cheerful smile with which to greet the day, but he felt he was losing his honor. He blamed it on himself, never on men like Jacob, never on his father. He told himself that if he had resisted they would have stopped, that it was all his fault, and that there was nothing he could do about it now.   
  
He seperated himself, never associating with others, trying to keep himself apart.   
  
In his sixth year he tried associating again, and what should happen but to turn back to his old ways. It was in the hallway to the showers where he met Logan and Tom, and the next morning he was filled with exhilaration, but that turned to self-hate. In his attempt to heal he had only hurt himself more. Logan brushed him off from there forward, and Tom became infatuated with another. Lale decided to himself he would be alone. Beautiful, alone.  
  
_You and my loneliness  
Weighs down on me like a kiss,  
And we start to notice  
That pain.  
That beautiful parting taking over,  
I think._


End file.
